Today was the day of the missile poop! My day with my son officially began at 7am. That is when I have decided morning is welcome. At 6 am, today, he wanted to be fed. This is a reasonable request of a newborn, and I fed him. When he was done and conked out against me, taking a milk coma snooze, I picked him up to burp him. Shortly after, I climbed out of bed to change his diaper. I found nothing out of the norm, pee and poo. Everything looked healthy. I noticed he was engorged, which usually means he’s going to pee, so I readied myself to cover him as to not get pee all over the changing table. Suddenly, and to my great surprise, an orange missile shot out of his cute, little, undiapered bottom!!!

I didn’t know where it went at first because it wasn’t on me, and it wasn’t on the changing pad beneath him. I tracked the energetic trail of projectile poop with my eyes, and there at the end of the changing table, on the cover and frame, was a splatter. Further, on the lamp, was another splatter. I looked down and sure enough, on the base of the lamp, near the floor, was more bright orange poop! Further still, on the crib frame and green flannel sheeted mattress was the mother lode. Poop everywhere and only 6:30 in the morning! To all of this I could only say (after the initial, “OH, MY GOD!!!” exclamation), “Good morning, Son!”

Little did I know, later in the day… still morning though… was my son’s first official blowout. While burping, after breastfeeding, I felt the wetness on his back that could only mean one or two possible things… pee or poo. Looking down the length of my son’s 21 1/2 inch body, I saw the orange-yellow-brown that designated the wetness to be – sure enough – more poop! Blown out from the top of his diaper, my son had his first experience of rich, creamy breast milk poop up his back! Yikes. Cleaning up the mess, I could only wonder if it was nap time yet.