Integrative Healing

celebrating the depth and breadth of the human experience

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Forgiveness

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While falling back into a regular and formal spiritual practice, I have recently gone through a daily routine of forgiveness, where I contemplate and meditate on its true meaning. Of course, anytime a person comes into my consciousness that I need to forgive, including myself, I rest there in the task at hand… and forgive. All the same, an inquiry has captured most of my attention: At the heart of hearts, what is forgiveness really?

Forgiveness does not change the past, yet it does help a person move on from challenging events. We are all doing the best we can at any given moment, and we are all imperfect. In our human imperfections, we all (at least occasionally) fail to do the simplest and most profound duty of all – that is to simply connect on a heart to heart level with others, where all parties feel honored, respected, and appreciated. This is an opportunity for everyone, including you and including me. The existence of this opportunity is exactly where forgiveness comes in.

Although we are perfect in our imperfections, ignoring our embedded flaws is to create a false sense of pride, strengthening unhealthy aspects of ego. We can all fall privy to this: you, me, anyone. When we forgive, we can begin to understand (in our core) that we are all the same, and are all capable of making similar errors in relationship and otherwise.

True forgiveness moves us from separation to oneness, allowing the play of humanity to go on as it may, while infusing our lives with as much love and compassion possible. Forgiveness moves us from what is possible to beyond possible; we grow our capacity for connection, and this includes forgiving ourselves completely. This is usually the most grueling and challenging task, our own self-forgiveness. Because we each are imperfect, we can always look at ourselves and find errors. These are human errors though and part of the grand design. This is not an excuse for causing harm; harm is not ever necessary. We are always capable of making mistakes though, large and small. Therefore, we all have the capacity to forgive. This is because we are all born with the same capacity for transgression, as well as the innate ability to see this innocence in others. Mistake making and forgiveness are deep and intricate parts of humanity, to which we all humbly belong.

“We cannot say that there is no past or no future, only that past, present, and future occur in the timeless Now.” – Dorothy Hunt

“If you find an intelligent companion,
A fellow traveler,
A sage of good conduct,
You should travel together,
Delighted and mindful.”
– The Dhammapada, translated by Gil Fronsdal

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” – Anna Quindlen

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, because what the world needs is people who have come alive!” – Howard Thurman

“The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.”

– Aristotle

“If we could untangle the mysteries of life and unravel the energies which run through the world; if we could evaluate correctly the significance of passing events; if we could measure the struggles, dilemmas, and aspirations of mankind, we could find that nothing is born out of time. Everything comes at its appointed moment.” – Joseph R. Sizoo

“The symbols of the self arise in the depths of the body.”

– C.G. Jung

“Healing is being present with what is, exactly as it is.”

– Rain Elizabeth Stickney

“The body tells a story. It is, in fact, a living autobiography.”

– Elaine Mayland

“This sky where we live is no place to lose your wings so love, love, love.” – Hafiz

“When hearts are open and awake, we bring warmth and blessings to our community and the world.” – Jack Kornfield

“Meditation is not a technique to master; it is the highest form of prayer, a naked act of love and effortless surrender into the silent abyss beyond all knowing.” – Adyashanti

“Eye contact, gentle touch, warmth in our voices, and caring words are balm for your child’s being.” – Patty Wipfler

“The sacred is the reality of you. It’s the reality of everything.” – Adyashanti

“The point is to learn from whatever is experienced, whether it’s liked or disliked, beautiful or ugly. Everything will teach us if we let it.” – Ajahn Amaro, Finding the Missing Peace

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